Welcome!

I admire strong women. I admire women who aren't afraid to stand up for what they believe. I admire women who go against the grain. I admire women who are comfortable in their own skin. I want to be one of those women I admire...

This blog is intended for the sharing of opinions...all opinions. Feel free to leave comments and to have conversations on the posts. Please keep your comments clean and relevant and please do not attack. If you would like to contribute, leave me a message in the comments section with your email address. Before you start soap-boxing, please take the time to post an introduction of yourself to the community. I would also ask you to tag your posts with your screen name and the topic. Thanks!

I do NOT heart Wal*Mart

I try to avoid Wally World at all costs. I am not overly impressed with the things they sell, I've had bad experiences with their produce and my sister refuses to buy meat there after issues with them. Plus I think their stores are dirty and cluttered and difficult to navigate.

That being said, I couldn't avoid it on Monday. I really needed water balloons. I had already tried Harmon's, Smith's, and Target and was not successful. How annoying! No water balloons to be found. So I made the trek to Wal*Mart. Where they happen to be remodeling right now. So it's even dirtier than usual. And the staff is even less helpful!!

This brings to my next point. Customer Service. When I go to Wal*Mart, I don't expect great customer service. I know better but I would think that if I asked a staff member where something was, she wouldn't blow me off and tell me to go to Customer Service at the front of the store when I have a shopping cart full of items and two cranky kids. And when I ask another staff member for help, I don't expect them to tell me they don't speak English. So after wandering around for 45 minutes, I managed to find 3 things I needed but still no water balloons. Luckily my knight in shining armor found some at Walgreens on his way home from work!

Oh, and one more store I do not heart: Ross. I used to not mind it, but the few times I've gone in, I've been thoroughly disgusted by how filthy the store is. And it feels like I've landed in Mexico. If you don't speak Spanish then you have no shot of any staff member being even remotely courteous.

Amendment

I talked to Jen today and decided to amend my post. Sometimes I worry that I am way too opinionated for blogging! Crazy I know! Yes we are a nation of whiners but I failed to lay out why I think we are that way. this may get me in trouble! We are a nation of people who feel entitled to everything. I think that is why we whine. Now why do we feel entitled. I lay that at the feet of two groups of people. Liberals and feminists. Now first , did you expect something different from a conservative chick. Second, hear me out. The thing that drives me most crazy about liberals is that they love big government. The more free stuff we can promise the better. Whether it is assistance for that or free this, liberals will give it to you. Universal health care anyone! This has left us feeling entitled. Heaven forbid you have to work for something. This presidential election is a perfect example. Obama has no experience has horrendous judgement only talks about hope and change and will probably win in a landslide. Why? because he has promised free stuff, and we feel entitled to it just by our existence! Feminists feel like women should have anything and everything just for being born a woman! N.O.W. thought Hillary should be president just because she was a woman.Did you read some of their comments. Amazing! She was entitled darn it! Have you listened to Obama's wife lately. She believes her husband is entitled to the presidency, the presidency! By his latest trip overseas you can tell he feels the same.We aren't entitled people. We have to work and struggle and fight to get our way through this life. We don't get free stuff just for being born! I think the generation after me is the worst! They have been raised in this liberal/feminist world and it shows. Have you talked to a teenager lately! I mean seriously. work, what! Why, the government will give it to me.

Suicide

Last night my mom called and told me we'd had a death in the family. I wasn't too surprised, because my grandmother is in a skilled nursing facility recuperating from a triple bypass and a knee surgery and my aunt is in Intensive Care with renal and liver failure in addition to several other maladies. However, those two are still holding tight. She had called to tell me that her cousin (I'll call her Jean) had been found dead in her garage that morning. Jean's daughter (my second cousing) and I were pretty tight (for me, an army brat) while we were growing up. We exchanged letters frequently and got together whenever I was in town visiting my grandparents. The death came as a shock to the family. Jean had gotten divorced quite a while ago. The divorce was a surprise to most everyone. However, Jean had never appeared to be that depressed to anyone around her. She lived for her grandkids and loved her family.

I guess the point of this post is to pontificate upon suicide and some of its predicating factors. I've heard so many people talk about how suicide is wrong and how it's the most selfish thing a person can possiby do. Whenever I hear this from someone, I become incredibly angry. There are so many misconceptions about mental illness and while scientists have discovered some things, others might never be understood.

I think many people do not understand that depression is not a choice to be unhappy. It's not something you can just snap out of. It's not something that will just go away if you put on a happy face and pretend nothing's wrong. Yes, just about everyone has bad days and many people have bad weeks, months, etc. That doesn't equate to depression.

Diagnostic criteria for mental disorders are essentially descriptions of symptoms that fall into one of four categories. In major depressive disorder for example, affective or mood symptoms include depressed mood and feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Behavioral symptoms include social withdrawal and agitation. Cognitive symptoms, or problems in thinking include difficulty with concentration or making decisions. Finally, somatic or physical symptoms include insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much).
http://www.allaboutdepression.com/dia_01.html

There are many more symptoms than these here. A careful evaluation by a trained professional is necessary and treatment is important. I feel grateful that my depression is mild to moderate. I have not had a major depressive disorder. But even my mild depression can be debilitating and life altering at times. I have taken medication and I have been in therapy and it does help. Knowing that I have depressive episodes and that, for me, they seem to cycle helps too. I feel blessed that I have supportive friends who understand that it is an illness and they help me and not blame me.

I have had suicidal thoughts in the past. Jean's death has hit close to my heart. I can understand and empathize with her. I can't say exactly what she was feeling but I do understand the depth of hopelessness and despair. I don't believe that her choice was selfish. I believe that, in her mind, she was doing the only thing she could. That she truly believed the world was better off without her and that death was the only way through her pain and through the darkness she was trapped in.

I am not saying that suicide is a good choice or should even be a choice. What I am asking for is that people will try and understand the anguish of the suicide victim.


NOTE: While I was researching the data I used, I came across this website and I wanted to share it.

Nation of Whiners

I have been reflecting on the comment made by Phil Gramm that we are a nation of whiners. Normally I have a knee jerk reaction and decide whether or not I agree with something right off the bat. I am proud of myself that I thought this through. Is he right? After paying close attention to the world around me the past few weeks I've decided he is right! Stop and pay attention to the people around you. We are whining about everything. When I did this experiment I was stunned! Not only are other people relentlessly whining, but I am as well! I guess we all feel entitled and when things go wrong if we just whine enough people will give in and give us what we want. I saw a woman at the grocery store who whined and complained after a sale had ended several days earlier and she still wanted the sale price! She got it! We are entitled and we deserve it and we'll whine until we get it!

Supervillian Musicals!

Right now I want to get on my soapbox about how much Joss Whedon rocks. It goes without saying that Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly are the best TV shows ever and now Joss Whedon is continuing his tradition of awesomeness with Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Seriously, how can you go wrong with a supervillian musical starring Neil Patrick Harris? and the best part is . . . the entire thing is free this week . . . without advertisements. You don't want to miss it.

Relief Society Goes Berserk

I came across this post as I was searching for a good "message" to give at our next Relief Society enrichment meeting. It was posted at www.zelophehadsdaughters.com by Eve on 4 Dec 2006.

OK, I lied. It is not December 14th, and my papers have not been written. But I am nearing the end of what I have to admit is a fairly short tether with my stake Relief Society calling. In the midst of writing final papers and translations, I’ve found myself in a losing battle to scale down the mammoth stake Relief Society enrichment day planned for next spring. In the past it’s been an all-day extravaganza, two meals, workshop after workshop, crafts and motivational speakers jumping out of cakes (well, I may be exaggerating a wee bit about the cakes ).

I really don’t mind putting a lot of work into an activity, as long as it has a point. But I simply don’t see how it meets women’s needs to organize hours of what–let’s face it–often amounts to so much fluff and an extravagent lunch for which they will all have to cook something. Really, is anyone going to suffer lasting spiritual malaise if we offer only two workshops and a potato bar? And in a stake as geographically large as ours, isn’t it a lot to ask women in distant branches to drive an hour each way for an all-day activity–activities which, tellingly, they generally have to be guilted into attending? I’ve read Marjorie Condor’s and Jana Reiss’s recent reflections on Relief Society, and Claudia Bushman’s on the lives of Mormon women with great interest. And I have to ask myself of the daunting Relief Society labor I’m currently facing, This is the organization modeled on the priesthood, the power of God on the earth, whose members at one time considered themselves a quorum, charged “not only to relieve the poor, but to save souls”?

When it comes to trivial excess, we women have no one to blame but ourselves. Years ago when I was the education counselor in a ward Relief Society presidency, I watched the frenzy take hold. One week the teacher decorated the entire table with tastefully chosen, carefully arranged photographs and personal momentos relating to the lesson and distributed handouts. The next week, the teacher had to decorate, distribute handouts, and make treats. And the next teacher had to decorate, distribute handouts, and offer a choice of homemade treats.

When did we start to confuse consecrating our hearts with breaking our backs? And in a stake, and a world, in which women struggle with singleness, childlessness, marital problems, divorce, widowhood, debt, poverty, physical illness, mental illness, addictions, rebellious children, abusive parents, loneliness, sorrow, and sin, why, oh why, is our greatest concern making sure that the centerpieces match the tablecloths?

An Open Letter to Stephanie Meyer

Here is the first draft of a letter I am planning to send to Stephanie Meyer (the author of the Twilight Series). I would love your comments and feedback.

Warning: The following contains Twilight Spoilers.

Dear Ms. Meyers,

I recently read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. These books were recommended highly by a wide variety of people and since I finished all three in less than a week, there was obviously much about them I enjoyed. However, I have a serious concern that I would like to bring to your attention. It seems to me that both New Moon and Eclipse send the message that threatening suicide is somehow a romantic and acceptable way to demonstrate love. This theme is especially troubling to me since these books are marketed toward teenagers (an age group that is already at risk for suicide).

In New Moon, Bella purposely puts herself in life-threatening situations so that she can hear Edward,s voice. In other words, she is trying to hurt herself because a boy broke up with her and that is the only way she can get his attention. Not only that, but Bella nearly lets herself drowned because “at least then she will no longer feel the pain of not being with Edward” (I need the exact quote- does anyone have it?). Is this the message you would like to send to impressionable teenage girls?

If Bella were the only one to set this dramatic example, I would not be so concerned. However, Edward actually does attempt to commit suicide. When he thinks that Bella is dead, he tries to get the Volturi to kill him. To make matters worse, the narrater actually seems to think that this gesture is a noble demonstration of Edward’s love for Bella. Come on! Suicide is not a demonstration of love. It is a selfish, stupid, irreversible decision. And I think it is morally irresponsible to write a book targeted toward teens that portrays it any other way.

But it gets worse. In Eclipse, Jacob threatens to kill himself if Bella does not kiss him. So, of course, she kisses him in order to save his life. The logical message here is that if Bella had not given into Jacob’s demands, it would have somehow been her fault that he died. This is not true. And I wouldn’t want my teenage daughter thinking that she has to do whatever a boy says just because he has threatened to kill himself.

Ms. Meyers, I know you can’t go back and change your already published novels but I am hoping that this letter will prevent you from continuing to glorify suicide in the future. And I also think that it would be responsible of you to address the inappropriateness of the character’s actions in some sort of forum. I just worry that some of your devoted fans will take the message of your novel too far.

Sincerely,

Conservativechick

It has taken a lot of nerve to start blogging here. I promised Jen I would, so here we go. I feel my point of view might be a bit different than a few of you. I consider myself a very strong woman. I love strong women. I am a very conservative minded strong woman. Much of the modern feminist movement sends me over the edge. I feel we as women are abandoning the very things that make us women. That truly saddens me. My mother is a strong woman. I have learned much from her. What I want to be and what I don't want to be. She unknowingly has shaped so many aspects of my life. I think of the influence my mother has had on me and I see other women with their children and I think that is where true strength is. I am dismayed that in our society being rebellious and going against the grain is what determines strength. I'm telling you next time I see that bumper sticker that says well-behaved women rarely make history I'm going to hit the car that has it! I think that philosophy sucks! Rebelling just to rebel isn't noble it's stupid. Like I said maybe a bit different than others on this site. I look forward to a long and rewarding blogging experience. This is my first. Every blog needs a really conservative chick's point of view.

Does anyone else think that J.K. Rowlings is a whiney hypocrite?

Seriously. I don't know if any of you have been following this story but J.K. Rowlings is suing a fan for creating a Harry Potter Lexicon. She claims that "this book constitutes the wholesale theft of 17 years of [her] hard work. Ha! That claim is, quite simply, ludicrous.

First of all, in order for that claim to be true, Harry Potter would have to actually be her original idea. Yeah right. Have any of you read the Worst Witch? If not let me sum it up for you. It is about a little girl named Mildred who goes to Mrs. Cackle's Academy for Witches where she is disliked by the potions teacher and a blond bully. Mildred also has to practice flying her broomstick for an important school event but somehow her broomstick gets bewitched. Sound familiar? For more similarities between the Worst Witch and Harry Potter go here. And the sad truth is The Worst Witch is just one example of where J.K. Rowlings stole her ideas. Ever heard of a 1984 book titled The Legend of Rah and the Muggles which coincidentally enough has a main character named Larry Potter? Hmmmm. (As an interesting side note, before making the Harry Potter movies, Warners Brothers made sure to buy the rights to the Worst Witch.)

Secondly, an encyclopedia is not plagiarism. Come on. This guy is not claiming that J.K. Rowlings ideas are his: he is just organizing them for people who have already presumably bought and read all seven of her books. Rowlings goes on to claim that this lexicon would hurt sales of the Harry Potter Encyclopedia she was planning to write. Yeah right. Don't you think that people would still buy her version as the official version?

Don't get me wrong, I really did and do enjoy the Harry Potter books. I just think that it is ironic that an author who stole ideas from other authors without any sort of citation is suing a fan for openly and lovingly (aka giving Rowlings all the credit) organizing the Harry Potter world into a lexicon.

Oh, I just found an article written by Orson Scott Card that said what I was trying to say, only much MUCH better. You can check it out here.

Introducing Grandma

I am from a different generation, somedays I feel like it is really the break-away generation. I admire my Grandmother Frieda. In a patriarchal society, she was always treated as an equal partner to my Grandfather. Her faith in Christ may have wavered, but she never let go. She never worked outside the home. My Grandfather beleived in education and his children, both born in the Depression went to College. All of his eight grandchildren went to college - he gave us that chance equally - men and women. My Mother also went to college, but when she had her first child, she became a true farmer's wife. Long after her children moved away, she went back to college to re-earn her Nursing degree and return to the workforce. I, on the other hand, seemed to have it made. I was the first granddaughter to graduate from College. As a sophomore, our Basketball Program received the first Title 9 scholarships. I thought I was a part of earning them even though I played volleyball. No - I was just the break-away generation, receiving the reward of someone else's work. I went to work right out of College - hired by Basin Electric as the first woman in their Public Relations Division. I thought I was an incredible person with good creditials. Later I found out I was hired under the Affirmative Action Program. Again - I was just the break-away generation reaping the rewards from someone else's hard work. I have always worked outside the home, but as my husband began his military career, I found that I was mostly an anomoly. Slowly more families of my age needed more than one income to live. I was chastised more than once by a senior officer's spouse that I did not present myself well; it looked like my husband could not take care of his family. These same people would point to lower ranks and make the "snob" comments. For once I felt empowered - I had gone to college, I had a husband who gave me moral support, we had long term goals that required financing and these other people were not paying our bills!

A strong woman comes to terms with herself by realizing that she had help getting there. I work in an industry that is dominated by men. I am, and have always been, the only female division chief. But I got there by someone beleiving in me 10 years ago and mentoring me. I have been told by many women that they admire what I do, how I treat people and how strong I am as a leader. I admire strong women and will continue to learn from them. But I also know that I had great teachers - they teach us to challenge our beliefs, the way we see ourselves and make us questions our motives. That is how we become strong women who question, listen and make our decisions.

I only hope that my daughters can feel that they too are strong women of conviction!

Don't Laugh at the Devil?

So i just started to reread C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters (i started it last time i was at Emily's). Anyway, he starts the book off with a couple of qoutes...

The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yielf to texts of csripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn.

Luther

The devil...the prowde spirite...cannot endure to be mocked.

Thomas Moore

So i have two questions; first, what is their foundation for this presumption; and second, let's assume it could be true, why would it be true? Well, and i guess a third question, how would you go about doing it? A "mock the devil" party just doesn't seem like a good idea.

The Secret Life of Bees

I just finished reading this amazing book called The Secret Life of Bees. It touched me deeply as it explored a girl searching for remnants of her mother's life in Civil Rights Amendment-era South Carolina.

After I finished the book, my brain kept thinking... Lily Owens fell in love with a black boy, an absolutely terrible thing to do in that time period. And I started to wonder what the difference between interracial relationships pre-Civil Rights and homosexual relationships now? Both have been/are villified. The only real difference I can see is that one can naturally produce children and the other cannot. Should this be a basis for discrimination? There are many, many heterosexual couples who also cannot naturally produce children. Should they be villified as well?

I know this is a hot-button issue, especially in the LDS community. What is your opinion?

Introducing Myself

Unattended Children

Here's the question: Have you ever left your child unattended in a vehicle for any length of time?

I have. I've left kids in the car while I run inside to pick up/drop off Anya. I've left them (with Anya/PJ "supervising") while I ran into the post office or into a friend's home. I never leave the vehicle unlocked. I take the keys with me. I'm not gone longer than 5 minutes. Could something happen in those 5 minutes? I'm sure something could. I guess I "play the odds." I don't think this makes me a bad parent. And I don't think I should go to jail, like this mom.

What are your thoughts?

Introducing Taylor

hmmm, or maybe I should use some tricksy screen name so that nobody will know who to blame for all my strong opinions???? Anyway, on to the introduction!

Introducing myself is always a little strange for me. Mostly because the way I see myself and the way I really am are not the same thing and I am never sure which way to go when giving an introduction. So perhaps I should begin by saying that I pride myself on being an intellectual (it is important to note that "priding oneself" and actually being are two different things). And that I consider myself to be an objectivist Mormon (if you know anything about either, you will understand how being both gives rise to a lot of internal conflict). I also am a behavior analyst (phooey on mentalism!) and the Stay-at-Home Parent of a mostly delightful 7 month old daughter.

My interest are rather broad: ranging from rock climbing to reading to rocketry (check out my alliteration!). I also am addicted to Wil Wheaton's Celebrity Blog (Wesley Crusher from Star Trek) which proves my eternal geekiness. I scrapbook and journal just enough to feel like I am documenting my daughters life and I am OBSESSED with making sticker charts to monitor my goal progress.

princess jen

Hello all! Since I started all this, I'll be first to introduce myself. First and foremost, I'm a woman. I know that's a strange way to start, but I want to have my own identity. I have been married for eight years and I have two children, a five year old girl and a 16 month old boy. I work at home tending a good friend's two children (a six year old and a 16 month old, both boys). I'm grateful every day for the opportunity to stay home with my children but some days are still overwhelming.

I love to read. I like to scrapbook. I like to blog. I have lots of acquaintance friends and several soulmate friends (most of whom live far from me!). I like learning new things. I struggle with my spirituality.

I want to be a better person.