Amendment

I talked to Jen today and decided to amend my post. Sometimes I worry that I am way too opinionated for blogging! Crazy I know! Yes we are a nation of whiners but I failed to lay out why I think we are that way. this may get me in trouble! We are a nation of people who feel entitled to everything. I think that is why we whine. Now why do we feel entitled. I lay that at the feet of two groups of people. Liberals and feminists. Now first , did you expect something different from a conservative chick. Second, hear me out. The thing that drives me most crazy about liberals is that they love big government. The more free stuff we can promise the better. Whether it is assistance for that or free this, liberals will give it to you. Universal health care anyone! This has left us feeling entitled. Heaven forbid you have to work for something. This presidential election is a perfect example. Obama has no experience has horrendous judgement only talks about hope and change and will probably win in a landslide. Why? because he has promised free stuff, and we feel entitled to it just by our existence! Feminists feel like women should have anything and everything just for being born a woman! N.O.W. thought Hillary should be president just because she was a woman.Did you read some of their comments. Amazing! She was entitled darn it! Have you listened to Obama's wife lately. She believes her husband is entitled to the presidency, the presidency! By his latest trip overseas you can tell he feels the same.We aren't entitled people. We have to work and struggle and fight to get our way through this life. We don't get free stuff just for being born! I think the generation after me is the worst! They have been raised in this liberal/feminist world and it shows. Have you talked to a teenager lately! I mean seriously. work, what! Why, the government will give it to me.

Suicide

Last night my mom called and told me we'd had a death in the family. I wasn't too surprised, because my grandmother is in a skilled nursing facility recuperating from a triple bypass and a knee surgery and my aunt is in Intensive Care with renal and liver failure in addition to several other maladies. However, those two are still holding tight. She had called to tell me that her cousin (I'll call her Jean) had been found dead in her garage that morning. Jean's daughter (my second cousing) and I were pretty tight (for me, an army brat) while we were growing up. We exchanged letters frequently and got together whenever I was in town visiting my grandparents. The death came as a shock to the family. Jean had gotten divorced quite a while ago. The divorce was a surprise to most everyone. However, Jean had never appeared to be that depressed to anyone around her. She lived for her grandkids and loved her family.

I guess the point of this post is to pontificate upon suicide and some of its predicating factors. I've heard so many people talk about how suicide is wrong and how it's the most selfish thing a person can possiby do. Whenever I hear this from someone, I become incredibly angry. There are so many misconceptions about mental illness and while scientists have discovered some things, others might never be understood.

I think many people do not understand that depression is not a choice to be unhappy. It's not something you can just snap out of. It's not something that will just go away if you put on a happy face and pretend nothing's wrong. Yes, just about everyone has bad days and many people have bad weeks, months, etc. That doesn't equate to depression.

Diagnostic criteria for mental disorders are essentially descriptions of symptoms that fall into one of four categories. In major depressive disorder for example, affective or mood symptoms include depressed mood and feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Behavioral symptoms include social withdrawal and agitation. Cognitive symptoms, or problems in thinking include difficulty with concentration or making decisions. Finally, somatic or physical symptoms include insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much).
http://www.allaboutdepression.com/dia_01.html

There are many more symptoms than these here. A careful evaluation by a trained professional is necessary and treatment is important. I feel grateful that my depression is mild to moderate. I have not had a major depressive disorder. But even my mild depression can be debilitating and life altering at times. I have taken medication and I have been in therapy and it does help. Knowing that I have depressive episodes and that, for me, they seem to cycle helps too. I feel blessed that I have supportive friends who understand that it is an illness and they help me and not blame me.

I have had suicidal thoughts in the past. Jean's death has hit close to my heart. I can understand and empathize with her. I can't say exactly what she was feeling but I do understand the depth of hopelessness and despair. I don't believe that her choice was selfish. I believe that, in her mind, she was doing the only thing she could. That she truly believed the world was better off without her and that death was the only way through her pain and through the darkness she was trapped in.

I am not saying that suicide is a good choice or should even be a choice. What I am asking for is that people will try and understand the anguish of the suicide victim.


NOTE: While I was researching the data I used, I came across this website and I wanted to share it.

Nation of Whiners

I have been reflecting on the comment made by Phil Gramm that we are a nation of whiners. Normally I have a knee jerk reaction and decide whether or not I agree with something right off the bat. I am proud of myself that I thought this through. Is he right? After paying close attention to the world around me the past few weeks I've decided he is right! Stop and pay attention to the people around you. We are whining about everything. When I did this experiment I was stunned! Not only are other people relentlessly whining, but I am as well! I guess we all feel entitled and when things go wrong if we just whine enough people will give in and give us what we want. I saw a woman at the grocery store who whined and complained after a sale had ended several days earlier and she still wanted the sale price! She got it! We are entitled and we deserve it and we'll whine until we get it!

Supervillian Musicals!

Right now I want to get on my soapbox about how much Joss Whedon rocks. It goes without saying that Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly are the best TV shows ever and now Joss Whedon is continuing his tradition of awesomeness with Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Seriously, how can you go wrong with a supervillian musical starring Neil Patrick Harris? and the best part is . . . the entire thing is free this week . . . without advertisements. You don't want to miss it.

Relief Society Goes Berserk

I came across this post as I was searching for a good "message" to give at our next Relief Society enrichment meeting. It was posted at www.zelophehadsdaughters.com by Eve on 4 Dec 2006.

OK, I lied. It is not December 14th, and my papers have not been written. But I am nearing the end of what I have to admit is a fairly short tether with my stake Relief Society calling. In the midst of writing final papers and translations, I’ve found myself in a losing battle to scale down the mammoth stake Relief Society enrichment day planned for next spring. In the past it’s been an all-day extravaganza, two meals, workshop after workshop, crafts and motivational speakers jumping out of cakes (well, I may be exaggerating a wee bit about the cakes ).

I really don’t mind putting a lot of work into an activity, as long as it has a point. But I simply don’t see how it meets women’s needs to organize hours of what–let’s face it–often amounts to so much fluff and an extravagent lunch for which they will all have to cook something. Really, is anyone going to suffer lasting spiritual malaise if we offer only two workshops and a potato bar? And in a stake as geographically large as ours, isn’t it a lot to ask women in distant branches to drive an hour each way for an all-day activity–activities which, tellingly, they generally have to be guilted into attending? I’ve read Marjorie Condor’s and Jana Reiss’s recent reflections on Relief Society, and Claudia Bushman’s on the lives of Mormon women with great interest. And I have to ask myself of the daunting Relief Society labor I’m currently facing, This is the organization modeled on the priesthood, the power of God on the earth, whose members at one time considered themselves a quorum, charged “not only to relieve the poor, but to save souls”?

When it comes to trivial excess, we women have no one to blame but ourselves. Years ago when I was the education counselor in a ward Relief Society presidency, I watched the frenzy take hold. One week the teacher decorated the entire table with tastefully chosen, carefully arranged photographs and personal momentos relating to the lesson and distributed handouts. The next week, the teacher had to decorate, distribute handouts, and make treats. And the next teacher had to decorate, distribute handouts, and offer a choice of homemade treats.

When did we start to confuse consecrating our hearts with breaking our backs? And in a stake, and a world, in which women struggle with singleness, childlessness, marital problems, divorce, widowhood, debt, poverty, physical illness, mental illness, addictions, rebellious children, abusive parents, loneliness, sorrow, and sin, why, oh why, is our greatest concern making sure that the centerpieces match the tablecloths?

An Open Letter to Stephanie Meyer

Here is the first draft of a letter I am planning to send to Stephanie Meyer (the author of the Twilight Series). I would love your comments and feedback.

Warning: The following contains Twilight Spoilers.

Dear Ms. Meyers,

I recently read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. These books were recommended highly by a wide variety of people and since I finished all three in less than a week, there was obviously much about them I enjoyed. However, I have a serious concern that I would like to bring to your attention. It seems to me that both New Moon and Eclipse send the message that threatening suicide is somehow a romantic and acceptable way to demonstrate love. This theme is especially troubling to me since these books are marketed toward teenagers (an age group that is already at risk for suicide).

In New Moon, Bella purposely puts herself in life-threatening situations so that she can hear Edward,s voice. In other words, she is trying to hurt herself because a boy broke up with her and that is the only way she can get his attention. Not only that, but Bella nearly lets herself drowned because “at least then she will no longer feel the pain of not being with Edward” (I need the exact quote- does anyone have it?). Is this the message you would like to send to impressionable teenage girls?

If Bella were the only one to set this dramatic example, I would not be so concerned. However, Edward actually does attempt to commit suicide. When he thinks that Bella is dead, he tries to get the Volturi to kill him. To make matters worse, the narrater actually seems to think that this gesture is a noble demonstration of Edward’s love for Bella. Come on! Suicide is not a demonstration of love. It is a selfish, stupid, irreversible decision. And I think it is morally irresponsible to write a book targeted toward teens that portrays it any other way.

But it gets worse. In Eclipse, Jacob threatens to kill himself if Bella does not kiss him. So, of course, she kisses him in order to save his life. The logical message here is that if Bella had not given into Jacob’s demands, it would have somehow been her fault that he died. This is not true. And I wouldn’t want my teenage daughter thinking that she has to do whatever a boy says just because he has threatened to kill himself.

Ms. Meyers, I know you can’t go back and change your already published novels but I am hoping that this letter will prevent you from continuing to glorify suicide in the future. And I also think that it would be responsible of you to address the inappropriateness of the character’s actions in some sort of forum. I just worry that some of your devoted fans will take the message of your novel too far.

Sincerely,

Conservativechick

It has taken a lot of nerve to start blogging here. I promised Jen I would, so here we go. I feel my point of view might be a bit different than a few of you. I consider myself a very strong woman. I love strong women. I am a very conservative minded strong woman. Much of the modern feminist movement sends me over the edge. I feel we as women are abandoning the very things that make us women. That truly saddens me. My mother is a strong woman. I have learned much from her. What I want to be and what I don't want to be. She unknowingly has shaped so many aspects of my life. I think of the influence my mother has had on me and I see other women with their children and I think that is where true strength is. I am dismayed that in our society being rebellious and going against the grain is what determines strength. I'm telling you next time I see that bumper sticker that says well-behaved women rarely make history I'm going to hit the car that has it! I think that philosophy sucks! Rebelling just to rebel isn't noble it's stupid. Like I said maybe a bit different than others on this site. I look forward to a long and rewarding blogging experience. This is my first. Every blog needs a really conservative chick's point of view.